In my quest to "awaken my fat to its true mission in life" (becoming energy for me) I can't help but think about all the years of fearing food. Which foods are good... Which are bad...Guilt... Sneak Eating... Calories... Carbs... Fats... Counting.... Weighing... It's no wonder I'm gaining weight, because apparently what you think about is what you draw to yourself. Great, so all this time that I've been panicking about my weight I was really begging to get more.
A friend of mine recently ate chocolate and told me how guilty she felt about doing that. How many times did I feel the burn of guilt after eating ‘something bad’… I can’t even count. But what are we guilty about? Did we steal this food? No. Did it belong to someone else? No. So where is this guilt going? Oh, that’s right, the guilt is going into our bag of personal torture devices. Guilt is seated right next to self loathing (it’s a tight fit, but they are very close) and next to them is unrealistic expectations which happens to be holding hands with misery over lost dreams… I think you get the picture.
No more guilt (a wasted emotion) – food is just food, and I am no longer an 8 year old who is being scrutinized by what I am “supposed” to eat. So now the more that I get in touch with what hunger signals my body is actually sending, I don’t have to eat until I am unable to move in order to be full, and neither do I have to wait until my hands shake and my stomach groans before I allow myself to eat. There is a happy medium, but finding that sweet spot is a journey in itself, one step at a time.